Hands

take a look at your hands... really look. from the front, back, inbetween the fingers.etc. How many stories can be told through your hands? on my left hand, on the inside of my middle finger, i have a long scar, from when i was 6 and i reached down and wanted to pet the dog as she was eating, something adults know you shouldnt do, but as a child i was just wanting to pet my dog. I reached down, and as an instinctual animal, the dog bit me, so as to protect herself, and her food. or when i flip over my hands, on my wrists, 8-10 small little circle scars on each hand. from when i was a baby, and really sick, these scars represent all the iv's i had. But scars arent the only things that can tell a story. what about how soft your hands are, or how rough, clean, or dirty?but these stories are pure pettyness... what stories can we tell of Jesus's hands today? It amazes me how many times His hands are mentioned when it comes to healing, but also death and suffering. When he comes into Jerusalem, he predicts that he will be handed over to the hands of sinners. When he goes off to Gethsemane, he proclaims, From now on, the Son of Man takes his place at Gods right hand, the place of power. When Peter cuts off the servants ear, Jesus touches the bloody spot with his hand and heals Malchus. Pilate questions Jesus, determines that he is being railroaded, and then gets into a dispute with the crowd over Jesus ultimate fate. In the end, he takes out a bowl and washes his hands, symbolically trying to wiggle out of responsibility for Jesus death. When they take him to Golgotha, of course, the soldiers pierce his hands when they nail him to the cross, pounding through the palms of his hands spikes large enough to hold the weight of a grown man. Perhaps most remarkably, at the very end of it all, Jesus final words a quotation from Psalm 31 are words that commend his life to Gods hands, Father, I place my life in your hands.
When Jesus put his life in his fathers hands, it is a prelude to offering that life to us, handing it over to us. When he offers his hand to us, encouraging us to clasp his in ours, the two whole lives whose stories are written into those hands are exchanged. The scars of our sinfulness, and brokenness are gathered into the scars of his life-giving crucifixion. His death becomes our life. Our scars signal the mortality that is part of life for us. His scars have death already behind them, and those scars on his hands become for us the sure sign of eternal life.
Like Jesus, we too need to put our lives into Gods hands, because its not always about the scars on the hands, or the color, or the size, or how soft or rough, but rather, its about whose hand you hold within it, and whats in your hand. We can be in Gods hands, we ARE in Gods hands... how great is that?

holy heartburn!

ok... so as I posted in a previous blog, I am having a really hard time with the church today. Ok, to not sound completely pompous, I am having a really hard time with my church today. I have been reading the book blue like jazz by donald miller. ( good one... check it out if u havnt already... and thanks Angela for buying it for me) and while I have been reading there are some things that have really stuck out to me. chapter 12 for instance is titled :
Church: How to Go Without Getting Angry
what a chapter to read. I go to church and that is what seems to happen. I get angry. Angry at the politics the lack of enthusiasm, the lack of passion, love, and wholeness as a community and body of Christ. Let me start here with a few questions I asked myself.

• How does God reach different people through different churches?
• How important is it to God that we, as the church, be united, like a family?

These questions really made me focus on what is happening. Perhaps my church is reaching at least one person in there, and yea God for that. Perhaps those who like the structure of skipping things when the time is almost up, or those who enjoy the sermons on money are being reached. Sorry bout the sarcasm. I am yet a bit emotional.
2. if we look at ephesians, we can find the answer for question 2. It tells us straight up in ephesians 1:11 it says ,"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." (NIV) and it goes on in later chapters to speak of the unified church.

in a recent bulletein at my church on the list of concerns for the next board meeting was this issue - how do we deal with people arriving late to service?

seriously...is this the most important issue in the church today? I say...late or on time... people are coming... shouldnt that be worth rejoicing?! arent there more important things to be worrying about rather than the new carpet being stained, or the white garb being washed, or the candles being refilled with oil. there are people dying without ever knowing God and people in my church are worried about who is showing up on time?!

I live in Glen ellyn. It is in the middle of dupage county, which is in the top 5 richest counties in the nation, and is the richest county in the state of illinois. and what are the hundreds of churches in the county, 2 of which made the church reports top 50 most influential churches in america. and you know what I see? I see homelessness being pushed under the rug, I see battered children, imigrants who cant speak english, special needs kids with no church who can facilitate to their needs, elderly who have no ride to church.... and the list goes on. is this what the church is to look like? NO! the church is not to be an organization, but rather a family. all these different denominations, why? we all have the same base beliefs, why cant we all band togther and do something bigger? we arent to be battling over the kids in the area for sunday school or youth groups, but rather working together to give the support to the community that is needed. Church isnt a place, at least it shouldnt be, church should be a lifestyle, a way of being the body for others around us.

appreciation

I have a terrible sunburn... pray it stops hurting quickly! So my sister has been home all summer with me and my family. dont get me wrong, I love my sister, but I feel like Im not sure how much she loves, or really likes me. Please pray for that relationship. Shes my sister, I would die for her.

I sit here today, and think about the day yesterday. I went to the dunes with Alicia and Kelly. What great friends I have. I hope I never take them for granted. It was a great day.

speaking of friends, all my friends are amazing, and I love you all.

my parents have been really supportive the past 2 months and I appreciate them. I love them too. I guess I dont give them enough credit sometimes. or give them enough of a chance to be there.

So I guess this blog is just saying how much I appreciate everyone I have in my life right now. I sit and think about how lucky I am to have friends and family who love me, take care of me, and are willing to bring me back to reality when needed. How many times have I taken this for granted? How many people out there have nothing compared to what I have? I love you all.

I love these boys!

I went to the Aboretum with the boys today... These are some of my favorite pictures I took of them.

I dont know why they all set up wierd like that... oh well... I like em!

songs

I find the words to these 2 songs really speaking what I feel with my relationship with Christ lately.

Trust you More:
VERSE 1

I stand on solid ground, My balance is sound
I fall hardly ever.
To walk is another thing,
its too frightening,
so I stay where I am.
I wont go back but I cant move on
for fear is clouding my mind

REFRAIN
JEsus shine your light,
Lord hold my hand
and help me to trust you more

VERSE 2

A fledgling in the nest
i know I am blessed
so safe in your keeping
to fly is another thing
its too frightening
so I stay where I am
I cant grow here I
cant fly out for fear is clouding my mind

REFRAIN

VERSE 3

Oh Perfect Love that casts out fear
Come near and renew my mind,
Jesus shine your light,
Lord Hold my hand
Help me to love you more
Help me to love you more


BREAKTHROUGH

I sing all the songs,
I read all about you
I know right from wrong
What does it amount to?
If my life doesnt show
How much I love You.

REFRAIN

I need you to breakthrough
tear down the walls
let everything fall
cuz I want to praise you
nothing between you and me
I need you to breakthrough

I know there is more
I yet to discover
so many things
you want to uncover
Ive been scratching the surface
I want to go deeper

REFRAIN

Break through the pride,
Break through the shame
Ive had enough of staying the same
Break through the fear
open the gates,
Im getting tired of playing it safe

REFRAIN (x2)


Both songs are by Peder Eide. I hope they can speak to you also.

I feel stuck

So many of my friends seem to be doing something with their lives this summer. Either they are in Peru, or W. Virginia, Uganda, Mexico, wherever and where am I? I am here in hoity toity Glen Ellyn working at Giordanos with people calling to complain that I spelled their name wrong so it printed wrong on the reciept. SERIOUSLY!!! what is this? I feel cramped like I need to get out and make a difference like I should be in another state or country working for the Lord, working with kids adults working with special needs kids, anything but what I am doing and I feel like I am being stuffed in a bag without enough room to move to breathe. I know I know... take what I have and use it to witness to the people here where I am now. But have you ever been to Glen ellyn? wheaton? Naperville? if you have you know what its like to feel as if you have to be perfect have tons of money and settle for nothing less than the best. I TELL YOU I AM SUFFOCATING HERE!! I AM TIRED OF THESE PEOPLE THINKING THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE THINKING THEIR SHIT DONT STINK! WELL I TELL YOU WHAT! SHIT IS SHIT AND IT STINKS!
I want to be back at school, back in the city where I feel as if I can reach out more make a difference for people who actually want it. Does this make any sense?

Botanic garden

Hey all, after reading a friends blog about the Chicago Botanical Gardens, I decided I would go for a day. I went with 2 friends from school, Hannah and ruthie, and let me tell you, it was a peaceful, relaxing day, and it was great to be with them. I wanted to share some pictures from the day with you. so here they are! - Chrissy.